Hollywood Redemption: A Hollywood Romance (Fairlane Series Book 1) Page 5

  “Awe,” Anna said into the phone.

  “I know,” I cried. “It was so sweet, and I haven’t had sweet in a very long time. So, I was stupid and said that if he kept saying sweet things to me, then I was going to fall in love with him. After that he said nothing. I couldn’t even hear him breathing on the phone. I knew I’d made a mistake and said I’d talk to him later. And now nothing, I haven’t heard from him yet. I hate that I messed up whatever is going on between us.”

  “I don’t think you messed anything up. You did say he was busy, and it’s only been a few days. Give it a little more time before you think he’s brushed you off, because I really don’t think that’s what this is. When you two met, there was instant chemistry between you and I hope that it doesn’t get thrown away over something so small. I don’t really know Luke, but he doesn’t seem like the type of guy who’d get freaked out by the word, love. I could maybe see it if you’d said that you were in love with him.” Anna paused making a tapping noise on the other end of the line. “How long ago was his last girlfriend?”

  Pulling the hair tie out of my hair, I shook my hair out realizing that I was in desperate need of a shower. “About two years ago, but I don’t think he’s hung up on her.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “I’m not sure. Hell, I’m not sure about anything having to do with Luke, but I asked him if he loved her and his reply was no.” Looking at myself in the monitor on my desk, I still looked sad, but inside Anna had given me a small glimpse of hope. “Do you really think he’s not freaked out?”

  “I really don’t. Cyndi and I talked the other day, and even she mentioned that she thought there was a little something, something going on between you two. She said she was shocked that the both of you didn’t know each other before with how well you got along at the restaurant, and then hanging out with him afterward.”

  “She doesn’t think anything happened between us, does she?” I didn’t want the rumor mill to start up with that I was after the men of Hollywood. Not that I thought Cyndi would think that.

  “No, she didn’t mention anything, but what would it matter? I can’t remember the last time I saw an instant connection like that. It’s like something out of a fairytale or romance novel.”

  “Ha, ha. The girl hears from the guy again and he doesn’t freak out about the word love.”

  “What romance novels are you reading? Guys freak out all the time about love and commitment, but I really don’t think that’s the case with Luke.”

  “I hope you’re right because I really like him. I was hoping that getting to know him would make it so that I didn’t want to jump him if I ever saw him again and now I might not ever get the chance.”

  “You’ll get your chance.” Anna’s conviction gave me a little more hope and the thought that maybe I should try to message Luke even though I had no idea what I might say. ‘Oh, don’t worry about what I said the other day. I don’t love you.’ Right, that would go over well.

  “How obvious was it that I was about ready to drool all over the restaurant every time I laid eyes on him?”

  Anna laughed hard into the phone. At one point, I thought I heard her snort. It must have been obvious going by her reaction.

  “Great,” I grumbled. “That’s so embarrassing!”

  “It was cute and sweet, not embarrassing. I wouldn’t say that Luke was about ready to drool, but you definitely did a number on him too.”

  I couldn’t help but shake my head. “I think you’re wrong.”

  “Why? It was obvious from where I was sitting and when he took you to the airport. Why do you think I was so happy?”

  “I have no clue. I’m pretty sure I’m hopeless in the world of men and dating. Not that we’re dating. I think he just wanted to be friends and now he’s done with me.”

  “He’s not done with you by a long shot.”

  My phone beeped letting me know that I had another call.

  “Hang on a second there’s someone on the other line. Let me look really quick.” Pulling my phone away from my ear, I saw Luke’s name and my heart soared. I must have made some sort of noise because I could hear Anna laughing. “It’s Luke,” I squealed. “Can I let you go?”

  Anna continued to laugh even as she spoke. “I assumed by the squeal. I’ll talk to you soon. Remember, I’m always here if you need me.”

  “I know. And thank you, Anna. You made me feel a lot better.”

  “No, Luke calling you made you feel better. Now hurry up and click over before he hangs up!”

  I wasted no time in following her orders. Hitting to accept his call, and answering in a breathy hello, I started to pace from room to room in a frenzy.

  “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

  “No, I just didn’t want you to hang up.” I paused for a moment to shore up my conviction. I could do this. “I’m sorry, Luke. I wasn’t thinking about what I was saying the other night, and I never meant to make you uncomfortable.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about. You hung up before I could say anything, and I didn’t think you were proclaiming your love for me or anything like that. I should’ve sent you a message right away.”

  “So, we’re all good. Friends?” I asked, relieved that Luke hadn’t thought I loved him.

  “Yeah, friends.” Something was different in his voice. It was off, but I couldn’t identify what it was.

  “Anything new?” I still felt awkward, but I figured if I kept talking to him, I’d talk myself out of the feeling. Or at least that was the hope.

  Luke laughed. “No, my life is pretty boring while on set. Actually, it’s normally pretty boring. Except I do try to go on one adventure during my downtime between shooting Night Shadows and movies.”

  “Try living in the Midwest and then you’ll think your life is far from boring. Do you already have your next adventure planned out? When do you start shooting Night Shadows again?”

  “I’m glad you’re back,” Luke laughed into the phone. I could feel the awkwardness melt away from both sides, causing me to smile. “We start back around the middle of January and I do in fact already have my next adventure planned. A few friends and I are going to Iceland at the beginning of November for a week.”

  “Iceland? I’ve seen pictures and from what I can tell it’s beautiful. I hope to visit one day. Have you ever been?”

  “Maybe one day we can go together and to answer your question, yes, I’ve been before and it's even more beautiful than it is in pictures. I can’t wait to rough it.”

  “Rough it? Are you staying outdoors? It may look beautiful, but it always looks cold.”

  “Coming from Sweden, I like the cold so when I go on vacations I try to get away from the LA heat.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. We were the exact opposite.

  Luke chuckled along with me. “What’s so funny?”

  “We’re so opposite. If I go on vacation, I try to go anywhere where it’s warm and with a beach. I shy away from the cold.”

  “Well, you know what they say, right? Opposites attract. Have you ever vacationed somewhere cold? Maybe to go skiing?”

  “I’ve never been skiing in my life. There’s no skiing where I live and growing up the only vacationing we did was go camping. My dad had me freaking out about water skiing, so I never even tried that.”

  “You don’t know what you’re missing. Maybe someday I can talk you into it. I think you’d enjoy it if you knew it was for a very short period of time.”

  “Maybe,” I grumbled. I didn’t believe I’d like it no matter how short of time I’d be there, knowing I could be on a beach somewhere listening to the tide come in and enjoying the beautiful water.

  “How did your dad freak you out about water skiing? I have to admit I’ve never tried skiing, but I have been tubing.”

  I closed my eyes and leaned back on my bed where I had finally sat down. I loved hearing Luke’s voice and accent. I was pretty sure I could listen to him talk all day
and if he was in front of me doing it where I could ogle him, would only make it better.

  “My dad was as blind as a bat without glasses and from the time I could remember he always shied away from skiing. One day, when I was probably six or seven, we were at some company barbecue and he went skiing. Don’t ask me why because I have no clue. I don’t know if the boat took off from where the barbecue was being held or what, but I remember standing on the shoreline and watching my dad ski. What I remember most was watching him fall and freaking out. The reason my dad didn’t ski was because he wore glasses and if he took them off, he couldn’t see anything within a few inches in front of him. It’s embedded into my brain to not ski even though I have perfect vision.”

  “I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s amazing how an experience can shape the outcome of our lives and you never know which ones it will be.”

  Something about what Luke said was nagging at me and I wanted to ask what he meant by it, but I didn’t want to scare him away again.

  “Are things any better on set?” I asked, to change the subject and because I was hoping someone else had befriended him.

  “Actually, one of the actresses I’m working with did talk to me yesterday. We talked about our parts and how our characters are supposed to become involved.”

  White hot jealousy consumed me. Even though I wanted there to be someone to talk to Luke because no one wanted to feel like an outcast, I didn’t like the fact it was an actress that he was going to have to do more than I wanted to think about with her. Why couldn’t it be some fat, hairy man?

  “Involved?” I heard myself say. Why had I said that? Obviously, I hadn’t been tortured enough these last couple of days with the thoughts that Luke was finished with me.

  “They have a small relationship. It's pretty volatile and hot. I was surprised that she was nervous about the sex scenes and being naked on set.”

  Kill me now! Luke was going to see her naked.

  “Who’s your costar?” I asked because I couldn’t help myself and I needed to torture myself more by knowing who the actress was.

  “Lindsey Sterling. Do you know who she is?” Luke asked innocently. I was sure that he had no idea that the woman on the other end of the phone was losing her mind with jealousy and hate.

  Okay, hate was a strong word, but he was going to see Lindsey Sterling naked. Lindsey was tall at around five feet ten inches if I had to guess, and all beautiful long legs and a graceful silhouette that most women would die for. Her hair was so blonde it looked white and fell to her ass in a beautiful white wave. I’d never seen a picture where she didn’t look perfect. Even the few times she’d been spotted without makeup she was gorgeous. Lindsey Sterling had curves in all the right places and the rest of her was tan and toned. I’d listened to Ryan go on and on about her one night, about how she was every man’s fantasy.

  And now my fantasy was going to see her naked.

  “Will there be nudity for you too?” I asked casually.

  “Yeah, but I don’t mind. It always makes me laugh at how conservative you Americans are. You’re taught to be embarrassed or ashamed by your body at such a young age, but in Europe we embrace our bodies and sexuality.”

  I wanted to yell at him to stop talking because the more Luke said, the worse it became.

  “Mmhmm,” I agreed because I needed to say something.

  Luke was going to fall in love with this woman before I ever got a chance and why wouldn’t he fall for her? Nothing bad was ever said about her and now she was talking to Luke on set. Maybe if I was lucky she had a boyfriend, but I didn’t think luck was going to be on my side for this one.

  “Are you okay, Alex? You’ve gotten awfully quiet on me.”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m happy that things are looking up for you on set.”

  Maybe that was why I hadn’t heard back from him until today because Luke and Lindsey were getting to know each other.

  Ugh. I wanted to scream. Damn Luke for being so sweet and attractive.

  I mean I couldn’t blame any woman for being interested in him because Luke was HOT. It didn’t even matter if he wasn’t your type, you’d think he was hot. I wasn’t sure how he was still single with his smoking hot looks and how sweet and funny he was.

  The longer I thought about it the more depressed I got. I’d never have a chance with Luke with all the Lindsey Sterling’s out there in the world.

  “I bet you’re tired. I should probably let you go. I’ll try to talk to you soon. The next couple of days are long ones. Maybe I’ll send you an email that way I can write it when I have a chance and you can answer me back when you’re awake and have time. How does that sound?” Luke asked as if he hadn’t just crushed my heart.

  To be fair, Luke didn’t know my internal struggle and hopefully he’d never find out.

  “Sounds good. I hope you have a great couple of days.” I prayed he couldn’t hear the sadness in my voice or ask about it.

  “Send me a text with your email so I’ll have it, okay?” It was evident from Luke’s tone that he knew something was wrong, but he wasn’t going to call me out on it. He probably thought it had to do with him not talking to me for the last few days, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

  “I’ll send it now,” I replied as I typed in my email address for him.

  “Good night, Alex.”

  “Goodbye, Luke.”

  6

  Having most of your friends live thousands of miles away was depressing. I was in serious need of a girlfriend where I could cry on her shoulder. Luke had been sending me emails every day and most of them were before I even woke up. In some he would tell me about the day before and how nice it was that Lindsey was now talking to him and including him. Don't get me wrong, I didn’t want Luke to feel left out of the group and I wanted him to have friends on set, but why, oh why did it have to be Lindsey Sterling?

  The emails that were about his budding friendship with his beautiful costar were the hardest to reply back to, but I did manage to not sound like the jealous bitch that I was. In his other emails I could tell that Luke had written them throughout the day as he thought up questions that he wanted to ask me. Some were generic, and others were deeply personal. It reminded me of when I was in elementary school and we had to write to our pen pals. We were getting to know each other better than we had through our brief phone calls and iMessages because we had all the time in the world to think up what we wanted to know and answer back.

  Without talking on the phone in almost two weeks, Luke was getting irritated with me. Every time he’d called I let voicemail answer. I knew it was stupid and immature, but I knew I wouldn't be able to hide my jealousy over the phone. More than once Luke had asked if everything was okay with me and us.

  Desperately I wanted to ask him what he wanted from me, but I was afraid of his answer. The more I got to know him through our emails the more I cared, and I didn't want to lose what we had. With each passing day and email that went by it was getting a little bit easier to think of Luke as only a friend. I knew I couldn't keep dodging his phone calls that were placed when he knew I was at home alone working so I vowed that the next time he called I would pull up my big girl panties and answer the phone. I had no idea that when I made that decision I wouldn't hear from Luke for another five days.

  Over the last five days I had emailed and called more times than was healthy. I wouldn't have been surprised if Luke hadn't put a restraining order out on me. If he was done with me the least he could do was have the decency to pick up the phone and tell me. At the very least, he could’ve answered one of the twenty some emails I’d sent him.

  My pride had died on the second day I hadn’t heard from Luke. By the third day I had spent the majority of the day berating myself for being so stupid. If I wanted any type of relationship with Luke, then I had to start acting like an adult and not a three-year-old. Instead all of my friends were now worried about me as I sent all their calls to voicemails as well and the
n sent a message saying that I was busy, and I'd talk to them later. I would’ve turned off my phone to wallow in my own misery if I wasn't afraid that on some off-chance Luke might call.

  I’d become what I hated to read about in books. I was the stupid girl that had a good thing and then let her insecurities rule her life until she lost the very thing she’d wanted.

  During those days I tried to hide my pain from Mason, but he still picked up on it and tried his best to make me feel better. We sat snuggled up on the couch watching all the Marvel movies that he owned, eating popcorn, and other junk food. While I was with Mason, I could forget my sadness, but once he went to bed, it seemed to double.

  Logically I knew I could call any one of my friends and tell them what happened, but I knew this was my fault and nothing they would say could make me or the situation better. I’d dismissed many of their calls and had even not answered the door when Ryan had come by to check up on me. He’d sent me a message saying he was worried and going to stop by. After he left, I sent him a message saying that I was sorry I hadn't answered the door, but I wasn't feeling well. I truly wasn't because I had been crying since the moment I dropped Mason off at school and by then I had a horrible headache and a stuffed-up nose. At least that was what I told myself at the time. I would really need to make up my absence with my friends. The only one not on my case was Taylor, and that was because I’d sent her a text telling her that I messed up with Luke but was not ready to talk about it. If her whole family hadn’t been sick with a horrible summer cold, I knew she would have been all over me. A summer cold was bad enough but being pregnant while having one, and not being able to take any medicine, I knew she was miserable. Each day, she would give me an update on how they were all feeling and if she didn't start to get better soon, I was afraid she’d have to go the hospital. Of course, Taylor being Taylor, each day she would ask if I was ready to talk. Even if she wasn't up for it.